Dave’s Loving End

Mother came in and greeted Biz and I with a hearty “Hello”,

It was answered “Hi” by me and from Biz “Hey” was bellowed.

Mother gave me her bags and walked right up to my wife,

And all I could think was that mom was n for the fight of her life!

But all mother did was hug Biz and say “I’m apologize!”

“My son said such terrible things about you I know they were lies!”

I dropped mother’s bags, my mouth open wide,

This was not the turn I was expecting, I needed a place to hide.

But maybe all was not lost, my sister was still coming too,

But mom bashed that hope and said she wasn’t as her baby was soon due.

As mom continued to hug Biz and apologize for my alleged transgressions,

Biz just looked at me, probably planning further punishment sessions.

Mother said that she will be living with us for about 6 months, maybe a little more,

And as she was saying this, I inched my way slowly to the door.

I could hear them plotting and planning my happiness’s demise,

So escape at this point just seemed wise.

I finally reached the door and slowly pulled it open,

But was stopped short by mother’s shoe, her go to airborne weapon.

“And where do you think you’re going?”, she yelled at me,

I answered simply “to get the rest of your things from the car, don’t you see?”

Mother nodded simply and Biz added “hurry up!”

I thought to myself oh I’ll hurry, you’ll see… yup.

Once outside I ran to my car and jumped inside,

I started the engine and hit the gas… it was time to ride!!

That was 10 years ago, and I have never looked back,

But I can never rest for mom and Biz are always on the attack.

The once found me in New Mexico, and once again in Alaska,

They even tracked me down during a blizzard in Nebraska.

But I am free of the tyranny, finally able to have fun,

Just me and my new pal Lydia, who I met while on the run.

And while this chick says that she will carry my burdens, (like she is somehow compelled),

But despite everything... I still love Biz, damn me to hell.

Dave’s Loving Return (Part Two)

I find myself in quite the quandary,

And not because I was once again doing the laundry.

Biz was quiet and nice, and had been so for days,

This was much different from her normal ways.

I knew not what to do about this… truly I was lost,

But I was determined to enjoy things, no matter the cost.

Biz even smiled… I tell you it’s true,

It made the sun shine, and turned grey skies blue.

This attitude lasted for over 1 year,

She had returned my love my sweet dear!

But like all good things, it came to an end,

When she read the letter my sister did send.

Biz was back to her horrible self, no a thousand time worse,

Why must I suffer through this, was this truly my curse?

She cursed and threw things, from a vase to a TV,

Great… how now will I watch Police Academy 3?

During her tantrum, I tried to ask what was wrong,

And my concern was repaid by being choked out with her thong.

When I came to, I saw that Biz had gone upstairs, her rage still unchecked,

And I spied my sister’s letter under the floor, beneath the TV that Biz wrecked.

As I read the letter the smile returned to my face,

My sister was coming for a visit, maybe she could rescue me from this mad place!

But as I read further I saw what drove Biz to madness,

And my heart again dropped, once again consumed with sadness.

Mother was coming too, and per the letter the visit would be long,

I thought then to hang myself, and looked again for that thong…..