As I watched her walk across the room,
Better I thought that she travel by broom.
Never before had I encountered such a witch,
A good way to describe her would be to call her a bitch.
Always yelling and screaming about this and that,
Oh, how I’d love to silence her with a swing of my bat!
Her horrid eyes always seeking and judging,
Man, with this pipe, would I give her a bludgeoning!
Her fingers long and bony, with nails sharp as razors,
I’d shoot her, but there is a chance that the bullet would only graze her...
Her voice painful and shrill like a nails on glass,
I can’t take any more, to the oven and the gas!!!
She wasn’t always so horrid; I know but it’s true,
My Biz was a beauty once, believe me I beseech you!
Our marriage was very formal and the turnout was massive,
The guests well behaved, the children in attendance also quite passive.
Our vows we had written, her voice like a song,
When in the nine hells did everything go wrong!?
The first year was bliss the second and third one too,
Then suddenly the wheels fell off the bus, what was I to do?
She was demanding and mean, a tornado of rage and gloom,
I was too weak to leave, the ring I wore sealed my doom.
Perhaps this was a phase? Maybe my darling Biz would return?
I used to think that often, as per orders the homemade butter I would churn.
Don’t get me wrong, I tried to leave once, but Biz tracked me down,
The price I paid was a hammer to the knee, and again to my crown!
But I still plan an escape, she cannot hold me forever,
My new plan is foolproof, and also a little clever.
I cannot tell you now, for Biz is always listening, her ears ever alert,
And a shortened life is what I would love to avert!
So if a man grinning from ear to ear, in tattered garb you see,
It means you are looking at the one who escaped vile Biz, that’s right it’s me!!!
But if you hear a cry in the night then know my plan failed,
Better I thought that she travel by broom.
Never before had I encountered such a witch,
A good way to describe her would be to call her a bitch.
Always yelling and screaming about this and that,
Oh, how I’d love to silence her with a swing of my bat!
Her horrid eyes always seeking and judging,
Man, with this pipe, would I give her a bludgeoning!
Her fingers long and bony, with nails sharp as razors,
I’d shoot her, but there is a chance that the bullet would only graze her...
Her voice painful and shrill like a nails on glass,
I can’t take any more, to the oven and the gas!!!
She wasn’t always so horrid; I know but it’s true,
My Biz was a beauty once, believe me I beseech you!
Our marriage was very formal and the turnout was massive,
The guests well behaved, the children in attendance also quite passive.
Our vows we had written, her voice like a song,
When in the nine hells did everything go wrong!?
The first year was bliss the second and third one too,
Then suddenly the wheels fell off the bus, what was I to do?
She was demanding and mean, a tornado of rage and gloom,
I was too weak to leave, the ring I wore sealed my doom.
Perhaps this was a phase? Maybe my darling Biz would return?
I used to think that often, as per orders the homemade butter I would churn.
Don’t get me wrong, I tried to leave once, but Biz tracked me down,
The price I paid was a hammer to the knee, and again to my crown!
But I still plan an escape, she cannot hold me forever,
My new plan is foolproof, and also a little clever.
I cannot tell you now, for Biz is always listening, her ears ever alert,
And a shortened life is what I would love to avert!
So if a man grinning from ear to ear, in tattered garb you see,
It means you are looking at the one who escaped vile Biz, that’s right it’s me!!!
But if you hear a cry in the night then know my plan failed,
And another 40 years will I spend in this marriage, jailed…
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